In 20 Years Time

At the 2017 Young Writers Summer School Amy Richardson wrote this poem exploring issues around Mental Health which we wanted to share.

In 20 Years Time

I want to sit in front of a pile of papers
and not struggle for breath
To drink caffeinated tea
with no heaving, pounding in my chest
I want my fingers occupied
So they don’t pick at skin and
Pull thin string form my scalp
I want to sleep when the suns gone down
and sleep and sleep and sleep

I want to drink one pint at the pub
and not stagger home at 4am
with vomit on my last pair of jeans
To stand strong in fuck me clothes
and fuck no one
To not be demeaned or degraded
or damaged

I haven’t had a week in years without tears

I want to eat a meal without gorging myself
I want to eat a meal without pausing myself
to note my weight
I want to exercise for the thrill of it
not the fear of it
Of the panic excess energy might create

I don’t want to be a burden
Curled up on his bedroom floor
Inconsolable, uncontrollable and
Undeniably broken

I don’t want to be fixed or formed
Or folded up neatly
I just want to be me
A little more easily

-Amy Richardson